Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Mr. Mom

As parents of three preschool girls, there comes a time when a break is needed by the primary caregiver. These events leave me alone with the girls at times, so I revert to the emergency backup plan. This is a proven plan that works to divert the girls' attention from the absence of their mother, and make me look like a hero of significant magnitude. Stop number one is a McDonalds where they have a large indoor playground. This step is crucial to success. However, I have learned that for this plan to work successfully, one must not only have an exciting event in the beginning, but also have something left for the end.

This plan allows for some routine errand running, etc. in between the high points of the evening. Recently, I was even able to get them excited to go to Lowes (they have carts that look like race cars). After our evening out, I had one more trick up my sleeve – a slumber party. We moved the beds and air mattress around for our party in the girls' room and had our snack of grapes and cheese curls. Another key to success is getting them good and tired before attempting to settle down to sleep. Pop in a movie, and they all fall asleep before it is over. The plan worked to perfection and a good time was had by all.

These events provide plenty of humorous/embarrassing moments, such as taking all the girls to the bathroom. A man is standing at a urinal, and to be sure everyone is being polite, one of the girls loudly informs the others, “don’t stand there and stare at him!” He quickly leaves without looking at anyone. Later, we are playing Memory and one declares that she “is the best Memory player in the world.” Hmm! Maybe we should cut back on the compliments. Once we were checking out at the library, when one of them noticed the clerk’s tattoos. The question was asked (very loudly I might add), “Daddy, why did he write on himself?” Oh for a hole to crawl into.

Injury is always a concern. I am currently nursing a burn on my elbow from a twisty, tubular slide I went down. Mostly though, I am nursing a bruised ego.